A counselor told me I would stop procrastinating once I learned to be mindful. I said, “Just you wait.”

This is one of those sermons where I am speaking to myself as much as I am any of you.  I am hoping you are learning with me as I learn about how mindfulness and integrity interrelate.  I have times when I need to be more mindful.  And I have times when I need to have more integrity. Practicing these two together can have a synergistic effect and even are used in coordination with each other to combat burnout in nurses (Cynda Hylton Rushton, MD) but can translate to reducing burnout in many different jobs and in life in general.

First, what do these terms mean?  How am I using them? Integrity is when your values and your actions align. When you add compassion and the respect for the sacredness of life, integrity is a good thing. There are times when it is lacking in goodness. Hitler had integrity.  His actions and words coordinated and his beliefs and his actions were in line with one another.  So, while it is important to have integrity, the “I” in our SPICES, it is important to stress compassion and goodness in how we live out our integrity. To have good integrity, we focus on what is virtuous in our hearts and try to align our lives with those good values. Having integrity is also about being your authentic self, which is only possible if you are not deluding yourself or in denial about something you wish were different about you or your life.  In order to feel fully loved, we must be fully known which requires a certain amount of honesty with oneself.  So integrity is always evolving.  Unless there is major negative event, integrity will continue to grow throughout our lives.

Second, mindfulness is being aware of your values, your feelings and your actions in a way that increases consciousness. Mindfulness builds clarity needed to spot self-deception, while integrity provides the moral compass to act on what is true.  Living with integrity through awareness includes honest reflection, including admitting mistakes without harsh self-blame, making value-based choices that match your core beliefs even when it is hard to do so, and taking personal responsibility for your actions and any of their consequences.

Mindfulness supports integrity when we are working on not getting in our own ways or not saying what doesn’t need to be said or doing what doesn’t need to be done.  Note, I am talking to myself on this, and I am aware of that.  Have you ever gotten in your own way?  I have.

Mindfulness  with integrity helps you be able to observe your thoughts, know when ego is driving a choice, and making it easier to see a truth more clearly. Mindfulness allows us to know our inward selves enough to be able to align our thoughts and actions with our inward values and beliefs.  So mindfulness supports integrity in many ways.

Particularly because integrity is not an action but a manner of being and a state of consciousness. Integrity goes from the inside out, exhibiting behaviors that show how we feel and what we value or what we believe.  Living in alignment between what we feel and value with what we believe is one definition of integrity.  A very simple definition is the state of being undivided and whole, not at odds with ourselves within—things such as speaking truthfully, honoring promises and your word, living without secrets from the world so that your life can feel complete on its own.

We, many times, think we will be whole when we reach some goal or get into a relationship that adds to our lives in some way.  I am not just talking about romantic idealism here.  Our children and our grandchildren, our siblings, and even our work can take up the empty space that lack of integrity leaves in your soul.  But filling that longing with a relationship or work is never quite enough and is ego-driven rather than value-driven.  We show integrity in our relationships in honoring them, freeing them from selfish use, and being accountable for our contributions to relationships.

Like I spoke of 1 Corinthians 13 a few weeks ago – as we age we tend to get more real about ourselves as we live a life of love and honesty with ourselves and others, like looking in a mirror going from it being dark until it is easy to see ourselves clearly.  When that happens, mindfulness and integrity have merged, and we cultivate an undivided nature.  The key to good integrity is being aware inwardly and taking responsibility for any outward signs of your beliefs.  If you ever come to a place where you must break a promise or not maintain a commitment, it is important to be mindful and honest.  True accountability is being responsible for anytime your word is not solid and all of the consequences of any behavior or belief that harms yourself or others.   

But we also have to seek responsibility within as well as with those around us.  In this intersection of integrity and mindfulness, we have to, when we have failed, not only own up to it and all consequences from it but be able to look within to see if we are off about something, if we need to align our values or change our lives in some way.  Perhaps we have bit off more than we can chew.  It is important to look within at the insecurity or ego driven value we have chosen to rely on that ends with us making an error in our judgements.  We must be accountable to others, but we must be accountable to ourselves as well.

Endeavoring to seek responsibility within, as opposed to finding an excuse or a scapegoat to displace our responsibility onto, helps us to grow and become more clearly looking in our mirrors of this life.  We can choose to connect to the undivided nature within to determine what is true and untrue, what allows us to remain whole and continue to move forward with integrity as opposed to placing responsibility of our action or reaction onto someone or something else. Some psychologists believe that there are no accidents or coincidences. By taking responsibility for the circumstances, we regain control of our own lives rather than leaving it all up to fate.  When we no longer rationalize the lies we tell ourselves, we can confront our needs and values that may need overhauling or even just make necessary adjustments. But one of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to be real with what is creating or does create our role in a situation.

Mindfulness and integrity form a role of checks and balances that help us hold ourselves to standards we can achieve.  It is said that the longest journey we can take is from our heads to our hearts.  Being genuinely yourself allows you the freedom to try new things and ways of doing things that are more inline with what you want to do and help you to do it well, not just by following rules, but by following what you are passionate about.  Check in with yourself, and if your new action or thought process is a little uncomfortable, but aligns with your beliefs, values, and what you are passionate about, you have just come into something new in your life.  Congratulations.  Having mindfulness with your integrity allows you new opportunities to find actions and roles that fit better for who you are now or who you reasonably want to become.  Respect that Inward Teacher that helps you to find your truth and helps you live it.

Doing this nurtures your reliance on your Inward Teacher and helps that reliance to mature and grow.  Then you can see every challenge as a new opportunity for growth and a greater time to strengthen your relationship with the Divine.  This is important to embrace clarity as you foster this life full of compassion and purpose. Integrity becomes choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain.  Your inner world and your outer life become joined and you feel a natural sense of fulfillment 

We can go as far as taking responsibility for how our brains are shaped and become more selective of our thought patterns.  It gives us a chance to change the relationship with the internal narrator and fosters a deep sense of well-being. Particularly if you have a low self-esteem.  Thoughts like “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not good enough” can be changed to empowering words instead of words that bring you down.  In those cases, it might feel disingenuous and you might experience a little bit of imposter syndrome but know that you are a blessed and special child of the Universe.  It is important to try our best to have the most empowering internal dialogues while stretching ourselves to be this new self with new internal dialogue. Sometimes stepping up and pushing our limits does not feel authentic.  This is the only time you want to question the mind and challenge it to reach a new height.  Continue to examine the stories we tell ourselves and listen as the Inward Teacher moves you into a new pattern of growing.

The queries to ask yourself during waiting worship can be:

• When has the act of mindfulness helped you to have more integrity?
• Are you mindfully aware of your thoughts?
• How do your actions, emotions, and thoughts align with your highest values?